A Single question with a damaging effect!

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Being single, especially in the Asian culture is hard work these days. Family traditions, pressures and career prospects all play a factor in it. From such a young age it has been embedded into us that we must get married, have children and live a happy life. If we don’t, there is something wrong with us.

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However, when we live in a society that doesn’t want to except that you sometimes have to “kiss a few frogs before finding your prince”, let alone introducing that Prince to your family.Why would you want to broadcast your business before you are ready?

 

Since launching my Date Masi Singles Events, I’ve met and helped so many different people, each and every one of them with a different story to tell, and at different stages in their ‘Dating Career’. For some it’s the first singles event they have ever booked.  Others it’s a regular event in their calendar. And for many it’s a huge step getting back out there after a bad break up, divorce or just simply losing confidence in themselves.  Whatever their reasons, I am not there to judge. I am simply helping to create opportunities for them to meet someone new.

When you are single your love life suddenly becomes everyone’s business. With many people asking at functions ‘Don’t you want to get married? When is it going to be your turn?’ Why are you still single? All the answers are no one’s business except yours, but when you refuse to answer or perhaps don’t give them the answer they were looking for; suddenly you are in the wrong.

People don’t realise how hurtful these questions can be and difficult to answer. How do you know that they haven’t just come out of a relationship which ended badly? Or are simply coming to terms with the fact that they are single and finding it very hard to meet somebody. The answer is you don’t and shouldn’t know, unless they want you to. Yet I have seen the hurt and struggle that many face when being asked these questions that just come so naturally to us. But those asking have no idea the damages these ‘simple questions’ can have on someone behind closed doors…so it’s time that we stop and mind our own business.

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You may automatically feel that this applies to just the older generation, but in actual fact it is sometimes our own friends and family that cause the pain by asking these questions. In this day and age when we know so many of our generation are struggling to meet their match in their 20’s like in our parent’s era, or have chosen to put their career first. Why do we continue to ask these questions when we know if the roles were reversed we would not want to answer them either?

So my advice would be to stop asking and let it be a surprise. If your friend or family has a new relationship, it’s their choice if and when they want to tell you. In the meantime, there are plenty more questions that you could ask that won’t leave such an ill feeling.

 

Please share or leave your comments below and together we can help others avoid a tricky situation at their next family function.

Date Masi … putting the fun back into dating!

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